How to Be More Loving Towards Yourself - Self-Love & Self-Acceptance

In the words of the infamous RuPaul, drag queen extraordinaire, ‘if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else?!’ 

As we approach Valentines’ Day, the topic of love naturally rises to our attention. I’m very interested in cultivating self love in my clients and so in this blog I will be discussing how you can start to love yourself. 

What Do I Mean By Self Love?⁠

I mean loving all parts of you, yes even those aspects that you really want to change. ⁠Loving yourself where you are now, regardless of how you got here. ⁠⁠

Showing up for yourself with love, including in your inner experiences (thoughts, feelings, beliefs) and in your outwardly behaviours.⁠ Setting boundaries for yourself that come from a place of kindness, compassion, affection and whole-heartedness. ⁠⁠

Understanding that prioritising your health and mental wellbeing supports you to BE you. Tapping into the knowing that you are good enough. ⁠

How To Love Yourself  
Here are some small ways you can grow in self love:

Compassionate Self Talk

Notice how you talk about yourself - is it full of kindness and compassion? 

Notice any judgements, opinions, beliefs, thoughts and comparisons you place upon yourself. Become mindful of your inner personal world and get curious about your experiences. They may or may not be real. They may or may not be important. They are your perception of the world around you and increasing your awareness of these words will help you notice their impact on the way you feel. 

Name Your Stories

Notice the stories you have about yourself e.g. I am too old, I am fat, I am worthless and give them a name. Next time it comes up in your mind you can say to yourself, oh hello worthless story. Labelling the stories creates mental distance from the thought and so diffuses their power over you. Remember you are not your thoughts. They are simply words and you experience thoughts, but you are much more than your thoughts.

Gratitude Practice

Get in front of a mirror and really look at yourself. If there are certain areas that trigger those old negative stories then send heaps of gratitude to those areas for allowing you to live your life. 

Notice how you treat yourself. Would you treat someone you love like that? Would you say those things to them? Would you disregard and disrespect them? No, you would allow them moments of luxury, meet their need for connection and expression. 

Loving yourself whole-heartedly and fully accepting who you are can take a long time and requires committed action.

If you would like to learn how to love yourself, get in touch here.

Wishing you a wonderful Valentine’s Day. 

Rachel x